Step 1 - What's your problem?
You need to be clear exactly what your problem is. This might be obvious, but sometimes it takes a bit of unpicking.
Sometimes you have a couple of problems tangled up together. Don’t get flustered. Try and work out the facts for each one and what you need to do in what order.
- What is your problem about?
- When did it happen?
- Where did it happen?
- Who is the problem with?
- How did it come about?
Once you are clear about the facts it will help you to carry out the next steps.
“My ex threatened to take me to court after weeks of rows about him seeing the kids. I used to take them to his flat at weekends and he would bring them back. But I’m on such a tight budget that when one of my benefits went down I just couldn’t afford the fares. He said I was stopping him from seeing his kids. When I got the letter about court I was terrified, and furious.
But after chatting with a friend I realised that despite all the slanging matches, my ex and I both wanted him to see the kids. So that wasn’t the actual problem – the key to it all was getting them there. So I texted him and suggested he asked his dad, the kids’ granddad, to come and pick them up in the car. He agreed and it’s worked out really well for everybody.”