Roma parents can experience various problems when social workers get involved with their family. Next we talk about some of the most common problems faced by Roma parents.
Problems with communication and interpreters
If English is not your first language then it is really important to have an interpreter to help you. Social workers may find an interpreter who speaks the official language of the country you lived in before you came to England. But, if that language is not your first language that may not be very helpful to you.
If the interpreter is not actually helping you understand what is happening it is really important to say so. Otherwise, the social worker will expect you to understand everything properly, when in fact you might only understand a bit or not at all. They may then make assumptions about you and how you interact with them. They may think you are choosing not to do things on purpose, when in fact you just don’t know what is expected of you.
The social worker may also have important documents translated into the official language of the country you lived in before the UK. They will do this to try and help you. But, you may not be able to read this language or you may only be able to read every- day words in this language, not the language used in more formal situations that the social worker might use.
What you can do
If the only language you speak confidently is Romanes, it is important to tell the social worker this as soon as possible. There is a shortage of interpreters who speak Romanes and so the social worker will need time to make arrangements. If you have an interpreter that you understand most of the time but you don’t understand some words, make sure you say so and ask for the words you don’t know to be explained to you more clearly.
It is really important to say if you don’t understand what is happening or being said. Make sure you don’t agree to things that you don’t understand. It is much better to say you don’t understand upfront than agree to things you don’t really understand. This is because later the social worker will expect you to do something based on what you agreed but you won’t be able to if you aren’t sure what you are being asked to do. The social worker is likely to think you deliberately decided not to do what was asked of you. This will not help the situation. If you don’t understand letters or reports the social worker gives you, tell them as soon as possible so you can get help.
When it comes to important documents that the social worker may have translated for you, it is very important to explain if you cannot read that language. If there is no language that you can understand when it is written down you must tell the social worker so they can carefully explain what the important documents say, with an interpreter if you need one.
Martina and Erik’s experience with interpreters
Roma Parents Martina and Erik originally from Slovakia, came to the UK 4 years ago. Children’s Services became involved when their third child Marcin was born. The parents went to a child protection conference about all their children- Iveta, Robert and Marcin. A Slovakian interpreter was there throughout and made sure everything was communicated to the family in Slovakian. Later, when their Roma support worker asked how it went, they were not able to explain what had happened at the meeting or what needed to happen next. They said that they didn’t want to look silly or seem like they didn’t understand or weren’t willing to do what the social worker wanted so they just said ‘yes’ to everything. They explained that they found it very hard to understand formal words about something so important and stressful in their second language.
Their support worker helped them by speaking to the social worker but by the time she was able to do this the parents had already missed another important meeting with the social worker at their home. The social worker had thought they knew about this meeting and was worried that they had chosen not to be there. Later when the support worker explained the situation she was able to re-arrange the visit.
Lack of understanding of Roma culture
Roma people have told us that misunderstandings between social workers and Roma families have caused problems. Sometimes, parents feel that the social worker does not understand their culture or heritage. A lack of cultural awareness can mean that the social worker goes on stereotypes rather than learning about your experiences.
What you can do
It is not your job to train the social worker but if you can try and share stories and explanations of how you do things this will help the social worker to understand how you live and what strengths there are in your community.
For example, when it comes to pregnancy, you could explain that Roma women do not see having a baby as a medical problem and this is why some Roma parents don’t think to go to the doctor or the midwife when they are pregnant unless there is a clear problem.
The social worker might say your child’s attendance at school is not good. If this happens you could explain that in Roma culture it is not acceptable to send your child to school when they have a cold but instead it is customary to keep them at home.
The social worker can then explain what kinds of illness the school will expect your child to stay at home for and when the school will expect your child to go in.
Maria and Mihai’s first experience of a social worker in their home and how it could have gone better
Roma parents Maria and Mihai offered the social worker food and drinks when she first visited but the social worker didn’t want any. They were a little offended. They offered again on another visit and she didn’t want any that time either.
Maria and Mihai found the social worker unfriendly - she did not chat or smile much and she seemed distant and serious to them. She was not positive or lively. They found this strange and unwelcoming. Instead of looking at them when she spoke they found that she was busy looking at her paperwork and making notes. She brought up difficult topics that they could not talk about in front of each other or older relatives who were also there. She seemed annoyed. They felt embarrassed. They felt she did not like them or their home.
How it might have gone better
The meeting could have gone better if the social worker had understood how important hospitality is in Roma culture - that it is considered rude and unwelcoming not to offer food. She could have helped the situation by warmly thanking the parents for the offer of food and drink but explaining that she is not able to accept meals from families when she is working.
If the social worker had understood that the parents would have liked more eye contact with her this would have helped. But also she could have explained that she has to record what is said at the time of the meeting so that the notes are accurate - not just based on what she might remember later on.
It would have helped if the social worker had understood that in Roma culture it is taboo to talk about certain issues in front of members of the opposite sex or from different generations. For example, a Roma mother would not feel able to discuss her health problems in front of her husband or her mother in law.
The parents could have explained that in their culture it is rude not to offer food to a visitor.
If the parents had understood that the social worker is under a lot of pressure and has lots of families to see, they might have understood her behaviour more. She unfortunately has serious things to talk about and this is why she did not come across as lively or happy.
If the parents had explained that in their culture they do not speak about certain topics in front of members of the opposite sex or different generations this would have helped the social worker. For example, a Roma mother would not feel able to talk to a male social worker about her health problems or with a female social worker in front of a male family member.
Digital exclusion
You might find that since the pandemic, the social worker and other professionals expect to use digital ways of working, such as video calls and emails. If you don’t have things like a computer, a laptop, a tablet or a smart phone and Wi-Fi, then this way of working is impossible for you. You may not know how to use the various digital platforms (like Zoom or Teams) that social workers use.
What you can do
You need to explain that you don’t have a smart phone, Wi-Fi or enough data on your phone or even access to electricity and that together you will need to work out different ways of keeping in touch and exchanging information.
You can ask to attend meetings at the social worker’s office, where you can get support to join digital meetings. If you are asked to join a hearing that is not in a court building but by video call instead you will need equipment like a smart phone or computer, good Wi-Fi and a private space.
If you don’t have these things it is very important that you tell your social worker and solicitor so they can help you. If you do use a digital platform but it is not the one the social worker uses you could ask if they could use the one you are comfortable with, such as WhatsApp.
Our top tips
Try to stay calm - even when you don’t feel it at all. If you get angry the social worker will worry you get angry easily at home. Also, being angry will mean you are less able to take in and understand important information about your children.
Keep the social worker up to date - for example with your new contact details or if you can’t make an appointment. Be sure to tell them of any important incidents - such as an accident or new problem with the children. If you are not sure what would be an important thing to tell the social worker, ask them.
Ask for help from a Roma advocate - see our list at the end of this guide for more help on this. This will help you feel calmer and better supported.
Ask questions - make sure you understand everything. If you don’t understand something, ask the social worker to explain. Ask again and again until you are clear what is expected of you.
Keep records - make notes if you can or ask your advocate to do this and keep all letters, reports and any other documents that social workers give you somewhere safe. This will help you keep track of what is going on. If you can, get a diary to record appointments and important things to do. Or keep voice notes and reminders in your phone, if you have one.
Treat social workers with respect - even if inside you feel angry or scared.
Try to be patient - Children’s Services are very stretched and the process can be slow. But, this does not mean you should be left not knowing what is happening. Politely ask for updates if you don’t get them regularly and explain politely that you feel things are going too slowly.
Be honest - it is better to be honest with the social worker about your situation than try and guess what you think the social worker wants to hear. It is likely the social worker will find out you have not told the truth and this will be worse in the long run. Look at Paulina’s story for a reminder of why it is so important to be honest from the start.
Paulina’s story
Roma mother, Paulina, came from Poland with her six children to be nearer to her own mother in the UK. A social worker became involved with Paulina and her children as she struggled to manage all six children when her mother was ill. Sadly, there was then an accidental fire in Paulina’s home. Paulina was forced to move into her mum’s small flat with all the children. She was worried about what the social worker would say and do about them all living in the small flat. She decided to lie and tell the social worker she was moving to stay with another family member, whose home was bigger, as this, in her view, would be better for the children.
The social worker needed to visit the family in their new accommodation. She went to see Paulina and the children at the new address Paulina had given her. No one there could help or explain where Paulina was. The social worker was worried. And she had quickly found out that Paulina had lied to her. This made her even more worried. Eventually she found Paulina at her mum’s home. Paulina was anxious that the social worker had found out about the lie. Only with the help of a Roma advocate could Paulina explain why she had lied. The social worker accepted the explanation but said that she would need to do more regular checks at the home to be sure they were all there and safe.