In this section we talk about the ways you can work with the social worker and other professionals to help your child. It won’t always be easy to work with people you don’t know who want to get involved in your family life. But remember that even if it feels really hard, you need to do it for your child.
Lots of professionals could be involved in the case about your child – people like social workers, doctors, health visitors, and teachers.
Here are some tips to help you work with the social workers and other professionals you may meet.
Visits from social workers
Social workers can make either pre-arranged or unannounced visits to your home – depending on the reason for their visit. They should show you their identification badge but if they don’t, ask to see it.
Sometimes a social worker may want to visit unannounced because they have reason to believe that your child is at risk and so they need to investigate. Part of that investigation may involve visiting your home without giving you any warning. For example, a social worker would do this if they are worried about the conditions your child is living in at home.
You might feel uncomfortable about the social worker coming into your home, for many different reasons. But the social worker will feel more worried about your child if you don’t let them in when they come. This is because they will think you are hiding things. They are only doing their job which is to protect children. It is fine to ask, politely, the reason for the visit and what they are looking for so that you can understand what’s happening and why.
It is better to try hard, even if this is very difficult for you, to show them what they ask to see. This way, they will see you are willing to work with them, even if it is difficult for you. This will help to show them you are putting your child first, even when it might be hard for you.
If you are worried about unannounced visits, then contact a solicitor who specialises in children law as soon as you can and explain what has happened. You can find information about how to find this kind of specialist solicitor in the section called When and how to find a solicitor who specialises in children law.
Social workers will also call you to see how you are and give you updates or let you know when a meeting might take place. Make sure you let them know if you change your number and be sure to answer their calls or call back soon after if you can’t take a call.
Getting ready to meet a social worker or other professional
It’s OK to ask questions - make a list of the most important ones. Or get someone else to write them down for you. Ask the social worker what you should bring along to the meeting and if there is anything you could do to prepare.
Ask a friend, family member or support worker to go to the meeting with you. If you have a faceto-face meeting make sure you are on time or better still, early! If your meeting is by video call, make sure you have everything ready and set up before the meeting starts and if possible, a quiet and private place to be while you are on the call. If you can’t find a quiet place, headphones might be helpful.
If your friend, family member or support worker can join the meeting, ask them to write down the most important things the professional says.
This meeting may be very difficult for you, but you need to try and stay calm during it. If you interrupt, lose your temper or shout the social worker will worry that you do this at home in front of your children. It is very important to go to all the meetings that you are asked to attend. Try to keep a diary or calendar with all the dates and times so you don’t miss anything. You can ask someone to go with you to meetings to make notes of everything important. You can find a list of community organisations at the end of this guide who may be able to help you with meetings.
Communicating with the social worker is key to keeping your family together. This might feel hard to do when you are worried or scared about them being involved. But, the more you are able to work with them the better the outcome for your family is likely to be.
You may need to have video calls with the social worker. The next section explains more about how to do this and ways you can get more help, if you need it.
What you need to make video calls and what to do if you don’t have what you need
To make video calls you need:
- a smart phone, or,
- a computer, or,
- a tablet - like an iPad or Samsung Galaxy and,
- access to Wi-Fi, or data,
- to download the App that the social worker suggests you use, such as WhatsApp or Zoom, and
- a quiet place or headphones with a microphone.
You may not have the equipment you need or you may not know how to use the programme or app. If you don’t it is important that you tell the social worker. They should listen and make arrangements to have a face-to-face meeting if you do not have everything you need for a video call meeting to work well.
Understanding what a social worker or other professional says
If a social worker or other professional wants to talk about your children, it’s important you understand what they say to you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand. If you don’t feel confident to do this on your own, ask for help from your local children’s centre or a community organisation working with Roma. If you don’t ask any questions, they will probably think you understand everything and that you agree with them.
You could say: ‘I would like to check that I understand what you said.’ Then tell them what you think they’ve told you. Then you could say: ‘Have I got that right?’
Or you could say: ‘I don’t understand. Please can you explain that again?’
If you don’t understand some of the words they say, ask them to explain them.
There is no shame in asking questions because you don’t understand the child protection process. It is complicated and difficult to understand for everyone – including people whose first language is English and who have lived in England all their lives.
Asking for an interpreter
If you don’t feel confident understanding or speaking English, ask for an interpreter.
If you can, try to get help from a Roma community group - see the section at the end of this guide called Community organisations who work with Roma in England for details.
Tell the social worker or other professional what language you need the interpreter to speak. You could say: ‘My first language is Romanes. Please can I have a Roma interpreter?’ (This may not be possible as there are not a lot of Roma interpreters, but it is worth asking.)
Ideally you need an interpreter who speaks the language you use at home. Understanding the social worker well and making yourself properly understood will give you the best chance of a good outcome for your children and your family. If you don’t understand or are not understood, things will not go so well.
The interpreter should translate every word they hear. If you don’t think your interpreter is doing this, you should tell the social worker or other professional. The interpreter may need to explain some difficult words, words that may not exist in your language or may mean something different.
You should also tell them if you don’t understand the interpreter or the interpreter doesn’t understand you or isn’t being fair to you.
It’s OK to ask the social worker or other professional to get a different interpreter if that would help you talk about your child and your family.
Difficult questions
Social workers and other professionals can ask you questions that might make you feel uncomfortable. Although they are only doing their job, it’s OK for you to explain that in your culture it’s not allowed to speak about some subjects in mixed (male/female) company. Social workers must respect your culture. This doesn’t mean you can avoid talking about these things, but it may help the social worker or other professional think carefully about how to talk to you about the subject.
If you feel uncomfortable, perhaps because the professional is a different gender or much older or younger than you, it’s important that you say this. You can ask to speak to someone closer to your own age or the same gender as you if they want to ask questions about a sensitive subject, like your physical or mental health or whether and how much you use alcohol or drugs.
If you try to avoid answering their questions or seem secretive or defensive, this will just make the social worker or other professional ask more and more detailed questions until they are satisfied.
Understanding what a social worker or other professional is worried about
If a social worker or other professional is worried that your child isn’t safe or well looked after, make sure you understand what they think the problem is.
You could say:
- What is it you think I need to change or stop doing?
- What do I need to do instead?
- What is the standard you want me to meet?
- How will you help me improve things?
Ask your friend, family member or support worker to write down the most important things they say.
It’s very important that you understand what you must do to keep your child in your family. If you don’t understand or aren’t clear about what you need to change or do differently or how to make these changes, ask the social worker or other professional to explain it to you. Ask them to confirm what they say in writing.
Understanding when and why your child may be seen by another professional
A social worker may say that they want someone else, for example, a children’s doctor to see your child.
In this situation, it’s OK to ask the social worker questions to help you decide whether or not to agree to this. Here is a list of questions you could ask.
- Who are they?
- What is their job?
- Why do they need to see my child?
- What do they want to find out?
- Will they see my child on their own or together with me?
- If I can’t be there, is it OK if another member of my family or a friend goes to the appointment?
- When will I get to see their report?
Medical conditions and disabilities
If your child has a medical condition or a disability you may need support to look after them. Although you know your child well, you may not have important information about your child’s condition that would help you to look after them or manage their disability better. There’s no shame in asking for this help. It could help you and your child have a better life.
Getting letters and reports
Letters and reports from social workers or other professionals can be long and complicated. If you get a letter or report that you don’t understand, ask the person who sent it to read it to you face to face or take it to your support worker or solicitor and ask them to read it to you and help you understand it.
Don’t be afraid to say if there’s something in the letter or report that you don’t understand.
It’s OK to ask questions about what’s in the letter or report. If you don’t, they will probably think you understand it.
You could say: ‘I would like to check that I understand what the letter or report says.’ Then tell them what you think it says. Then you could say: ‘Have I got that right?’
Or you could say: ‘I don’t understand. Please can you explain that again?’
If you don’t understand some words or expressions in the letter, ask them to explain them. You could say: ‘What does this mean?’
The letter or report may be translated into a language of your country of origin. But this may not be enough for you to understand every detail. There may be words you don’t understand. It’s OK to say this.
Be sure to check the letter or report to see if there is anything you need to do next. If you are not sure, ask for some help.
Keeping letters and reports
It’s very important that you keep all the letters and reports you get and that you keep them together in one place. If you need help to organise your letters and documents or to understand them ask your local children’s centre or community organisation working with Roma to help you.
Writing letters about your child
If a social worker or other professional wants to write to someone about your child, you can say: ‘I would like to have a copy of any letter you send about my child.’
Signing documents
Don’t sign any documents if you don’t understand what they mean. It’s very important that you understand everything in a document before you sign it and that if by signing the document you are agreeing to do something, that you then follow through and do it. If you are at all unsure, it is fine to say you want to get legal advice first.
Before a meeting with a social worker ends
Before a meeting with a social worker or other professional ends, find out what will happen next. Ask your family member, friend or advocacy worker to write down what the social worker says. You could ask some or all of the following questions.
- What happens now?
- When will it happen?
- What do I need to do next?
- Who should I contact if I have any questions after this meeting?
- Where can I get more information about what’s happening to my family?
- Are there any support groups that can help us?
- Are there any letters or reports written about my child or my family? I would like to have copies of these. (If they say they can’t give you any, ask them what information they will share with you.)
Be sure you know how to contact the social worker and other important professionals working with your child - ask them to write down key people’s name, job title, phone number and email address you can use to contact them. Keep this list safe.
After a meeting with a social worker
Put any appointment dates somewhere safe – to help you remember so you won’t miss them. Maybe put them in your phone if you have one or buy a calendar and put it somewhere you can always see it. You can mark appointments on the calendar and cross out the date every day so you can see when your next appointment is coming up.
If you don’t get a letter or report the social worker or other professional promised you, it’s OK to remind them or ask your support worker to do this.
Letters and other important documents are often sent by email these days. If you use emails be sure to check them regularly so that you don’t miss important information. Beware, some important emails can end up in your junk folder so check this too! If you don’t use emails or don’t have internet access, remember to tell the social worker and ask for everything to be sent by post.
Let the social workers know if you move to a different address – so you don’t miss getting important letters about your child.
If you have any worries about the social worker and their approach to your family you should talk to your solicitor, if you have one. If you don’t have a solicitor, you can contact the Family Rights Group to get advice on the problem. If you need one, Family Rights Group can organise an interpreter for you. You can also ask to speak to the social worker’s manager about your worries.
You can also look at our guide for Roma parents on What to expect when working with social workers. The guide explains more about how to work well with social works and looks at common problems experienced by Roma parents and what to do if you are in that situation.
Staying in touch with your child’s social worker
It is really important to do these things!
- Always tell the social worker any new phone number you have - as soon as you get it.
- Always tell the social worker if you are moving and give them an address where they can write to you and you can be sure to get your post from.
- Always answer the social worker - on the phone or at the door. Or, if you miss them, be sure to phone them back or ask your support worker to help you with this.
- Go to all the meetings the social worker arranges about your children. If there is good reason why you can’t, make sure you explain what this reason is before the meeting.
- If you are sure something should have happened that hasn’t, like a phone call, letter or meeting, it is ok to chase it up. It shows you are trying to engage, and you are keen to make things move along.
By doing all these things, the social worker will know that you are trying your best to work with them rather than avoiding them, which will make them worry.