Not all parents are treated the same and not all parents have ‘parental responsibility’.

Mums

If you are a birth mother you immediately and automatically have parental responsibility when you give birth to your child.

Unmarried dads

If your child's birth was registered on or after 1 December 2003 and you are named on the birth certificate as their dad, you automatically have parental responsibility.

If you are not named on the birth certificate then you don’t have parental responsibility. But as the biological father, you can get it by:

• marrying your child's biological mother, or
• re-registering your child’s birth to add your details naming you as the dad, or
• making a parental responsibility agreement with your child's mum, or
• applying successfully for a parental responsibility order (if your child's mum will not agree to any of the above), or
• being appointed the child's guardian if the mother dies, although this would not give you PR while she was alive or there was someone else with PR, or,
• getting a child arrangements order that says your child will live with you. In these circumstances the court must make a separate parental responsibility order which can only be ended by another court order. (The situation is different if you get a child arrangements order that just says your child will spend time with you and not that your child will live with you. In these circumstances the court may make a parental responsibility order but it doesn’t have to.)
• An order giving you parental responsibility does not automatically result in a change to your child’s birth registration. If you want that to happen (and your ex still won’t re-register the birth with you, naming you as the dad) you will have to ask the court for another order called a declaration of parentage. This is a formal statement by the court that you are the child’s father. You apply for declaration of parentage using Form C63 -  Application for declaration of parentage - form C63  If you get this declaration, the court must tell the General Registrar Office. Then, the Register General will decide if the birth should be re-registered. You won’t receive a new registration. Instead the original document will have a note added to it to recognise the declaration of parentage.

Married dads

If you are married to your child’s mum, or in a civil partnership together, you automatically have parental responsibility. This is the case whether you got married before or after your child was born. And you keep parental responsibility even if you get divorced. Only a court can decide that you should lose it.

Second female parents

‘Second female parent’ is a legal term that means something very specific. As the female partner of a mother, you are only a ‘second female parent’ if:

your partner had a child through a fertility clinic in the UK, licensed by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, and
you and the child’s mother both agreed to you being treated as a parent before conception took place, and
your partner’s child was conceived on or after 6th April 2009.
Being a second female parent does not automatically give you parental responsibility.

If you are a second female parent and were in a civil partnership or married to your child’s mother when the child was born, then you automatically have parental responsibility.

If you are a second female parent but weren’t in a civil partnership or married to your child’s mother when the child was born, you can get parental responsibility in all the ways available to an unmarried dad.

Step-parents

As a step-parent there are no circumstances in which you have parental responsibility automatically. So marriage or civil partnership to one of the child’s parents does not automatically give you parental responsibility.

Married step-parents (in both opposite sex and same-sex couples) and step parents in a civil partnership can get parental responsibility by:

• making a parental responsibility agreement with the parent or parents who already have parental responsibility, or
• applying to the court for a parental responsibility order.
   

If you live together with your partner and their children but you are not married or in a civil partnership

If your partner has children and you would like parental responsibility for them but you are not married or in a civil partnership, the only ways to do this are:

• to adopt your partner’s children, which would have the effect of their other parent ceasing to be a parent, and so may be strongly opposed, or,
• to ask the court to make an order that the children live with you and your partner (a joint order). This would give you parental responsibility while the order is in force.
   

It is possible for more than two people to have parental responsibility for the same child at the same time. This can happen, for example, where parents divorce, one parent remarries and the two parents with parental responsibility make a parental responsibility agreement with the step-parent.

If you still aren’t sure whether you have parental responsibility or not, you may need to get legal advice about your position: see More help and advice.