Before you can apply to court

The court expects parents to try and reach agreements on how they raise their children, including issues about who has parental responsibility.

Before you can apply to court you need to take steps to try and reach agreement with the other parent or parents of the child you would like to get parental responsibility for. There are various different ways you can do this.

If you cannot reach agreement by speaking to each other or with the help of family or friends, you cannot just go straight to court for an order. Instead, the court expects you to try another way to resolve your dispute. Family lawyers often call this non-court dispute resolution or NCDR for short. 
The methods of non-court dispute resolution that the court recognises are: 

• mediation, 
• a process called the ‘collaborative law approach’ where you both (or all) have solicitors and come together in the same room to negotiate and reach agreement, 
• neutral evaluation where a single experienced family lawyer gives their opinion on how the court would decide what should happen in your dispute, or 
• arbitration (like having a private judge).

The cheapest of these options is likely to be mediation, especially if you can get legal aid to mediate or access a mediation voucher. We explain more about these next. 

Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs)

You must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before you can apply to the court for a parental responsibility order – unless you fall into the limited circumstances that mean you don’t have to do this. 

A MIAM is not mediation. It is a meeting to help you understand more about mediation and the other options available to you to reach an agreement out of court. Mediation can help but there are other options to think about too.

The purpose of this meeting is to:

• explore whether you really have to go to court or whether you might be able to come to an agreement, and
• assess whether mediation is a safe way for you and the other parent to try and sort out your disagreement.

Mediation aims to help you communicate with one another now and in the future and to reduce any conflict between you. Trained mediators can help you talk to each other and find solutions, even when it is hard. They are there to help you both and can provide you with a safe and supportive environment where you can work out solutions together. 

For more information about how a MIAM works, the situations when you don’t have to attend a MIAM, how to arrange a MIAM, and the likely costs take a look at our guide to Family mediation. At the MIAM the mediator will help you work out if you can get a mediation voucher to help pay for mediation.

If you are not able to reach an agreement in any of the ways we talk about above, or a mediator says your case is not suitable for mediation, then you can go on to make an application to the family court for a parental responsibility order. We explain how to do this next. 
 

You start your application for a parental responsibility order by following the steps in this checklist. 

There are certain people who have to be given a copy of your application. Anyone in this position is called a ‘respondent’. In an application for a parental responsibility order, the respondents are everyone you believe has parental responsibility. This may just be the child’s birth mother but in other circumstances could include a child’s father, a second female parent or a stepparent.

If the child is subject to a care order this means there is a court order in place which puts the child in the care of the local authority. In this situation, the respondents are everyone with parental responsibility and everyone you believe had parental responsibility immediately before the court made the care order.

There are also other people – people who don’t have parental responsibility - who you have to tell about your application for a parental responsibility order. So, for example, if the child is in the care of a local authority you have to tell them, if the child lives in a children’s home or a refuge then you have to tell the organisation that runs it. You also have to tell everyone who cares for the child, for example, grandparents or other family members. You tell these people or organisations about your application by sending them a Form C6A which you will get from the court. You do not have to send them a copy of your application.

If you are not sure who should be a respondent, or who else you should tell about your application, you can ask your local family court.

Who sends the application to the respondent(s)?

You must send each respondent a copy of your application form and the other documents the court sends to you. The court will send you instructions on how to do this.

The process of sending your application to the people who must see it or notifying those who must know about it is called ‘service’.

You will need to send each respondent:

• A copy of your application
• C6 Form - Notice of hearing - this is the letter that tells everyone when the first hearing will be and where.
• C7 Form - Acknowledgement of service form - this is the form that the respondent(s) has to fill in and send to the court to say they know about your application.
• C6A Form - you may need to send this to certain people too, if for example, the local authority is looking after the child, the child is living with other relatives or in a refuge.

When you have sent all the paperwork to the respondent(s) and any other people who need to know about your application you need to tell the court you have done this.

You do this by using the C9 Form, which is also called a ‘certificate of service’ form, which the court will send to you with the other paperwork. In this form you need to list who you sent it to, the date you sent it and how you sent it, for example by first class post.

If you have been sent an application for a parental responsibility order, the court calls you a ‘respondent’.

You need to read this section to find out what to do next. If you are the one applying for the order you can skip this section and go on to the section called Before the first hearing.

Step one 

Read through what you have been sent carefully. You should have at least 3 different forms:

• Notice of proceedings (Form C6) – this tells you the date, time and place of the first court hearing.
• Form C1 – this gives you information about the application. 
• Acknowledgement (Form C7) – this is the form you use to tell the court that you have received the application. The legal term for this is ‘acknowledgement of service’.

Step 2 

Fill in Form C7. There are instructions on Form C7 telling you what you need to do. It asks:

• for details about you (and your solicitor, if you have one),
• whether you disagree with the application,
• whether you want to apply for a court order yourself, and,
• if you think the child who the application is about has suffered or could be at risk of suffering violence or harm.

If the applicant says that the children have suffered or are at risk of suffering domestic abuse, violence or harm you will also get another form, form C1A. This form is called ‘Allegations of harm and domestic violence’. There is a section at the back of this form for you to complete if you want to comment on the allegations. You may want to get legal advice about what to say on one or both of these forms (see More help and advice).

If the applicant has not filled in form C1A but you think the child(ren) have suffered or are at risk of suffering domestic abuse, violence or harm you should fill one in yourself and send it back to the court.

Step 3

Once you have filled in form C7 (and C1A if necessary) take or send it to the court dealing with the application. You should find the address of the court on the forms you have been sent. You must do this within 14 days of the date when you were given the Notice of proceedings or of the postmark on the envelope if the Notice of proceedings was posted to you.

Before the first hearing 

Before the date of the first hearing, you also need to fill out one more form. This form is called the FM5 form. You need to send or take this form to the court at least seven days before the first hearing. 

In this form, the court asks for information about what efforts you have made to reach an agreement out of court with the person who has made the application. There are different methods you can use to try and reach an agreement out of court – lawyers call this non-court dispute resolution. 

The methods the court recognises are: 

• mediation, 
• a process called the ‘collaborative approach’ where you both (or all) have solicitors and come together in the same room to negotiate and reach agreement, 
• arbitration (like having a private judge) or 
• neutral evaluation where a single experienced family lawyer gives their opinion on how the court would decide what should happen in your dispute.

The court expects you to try one or more of these methods and have good reasons as to why they have not worked in your situation. One method might suit your case better than another.

If you are on a low income and cannot afford to instruct a collaborative lawyer, arbitrator or neutral evaluator you can explain this to the court. 
 

Forms and court guidance 

Acknowledgement (Form C7) - use this form to tell the court you have received the application and you know about the hearing.

Form C1A - to tell the court about any domestic abuse or harm to the child or you. 

FM5 form – this is a form about the efforts you and the other person have made to reach an agreement out of court. 

CB1 - This is court guidance on what to expect if you apply to the family court and which orders you can apply for.

CB7 - This is court guidance for separated parents involved in the family court. 

No less than seven days before the first hearing you also need to fill out one more form. This form is called the FM5 form. In this form, the court asks for information about what efforts you have made to reach an agreement. You need to send this form to the court and to the respondent(s). They need to do their own version of this form and send it to the court and to you. 

For a reminder of what non-court dispute resolution is and what the court expects, take another look at What you need to do first. 
 

In this section, we explain what happens at the first court hearing. Some of the steps below may not be necessary if:

• you can reach agreement on some issues, or,
• you are applying for parental responsibility alongside another application, such as for contact, and the steps have already been taken.

In some cases you may be told to do something before you go to court for the first hearing. If this happens, the court will send you an order setting out what it expects you to do. For example, you may have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting if you have not been to one, and the court decides that you have wrongly claimed to be exempt.

If you are unable to reach agreement at the first hearing, it may be that the court will postpone (adjourn) the case so that other steps can be taken to help the court make a decision about the application. For example, the court might ask Cafcass to prepare a report or tell you and the respondent to write statements. 

When this further information is available, the court may ask you to attend another hearing called a Dispute Resolution Appointment. Again, the court will encourage you to reach an agreement in light of any new evidence. 

If you are unable to reach agreement, the court will order that the case is listed for a final hearing.

The court can do a number of things at a Dispute Resolution Appointment, for example:

• identify the key issue(s) that need to be decided and how far they can be sorted out at this hearing;
• consider whether your case can be dealt with and finished at this hearing;
• listen to the evidence as a way of resolving or narrowing down the areas of disagreement (the law calls these ‘issues’) between you;
• identify what evidence there is on the areas of disagreement which remain to be sorted out at the final hearing;
• give final case management directions. These can include instructions about what further evidence you must prepare, whether you must make a statement, and the date of the final hearing.

In this section we explain what a final hearing is, what happens in it and how to get ready for it.

The final hearing is when the court hears the evidence and makes a decision. But this only happens if you cannot reach an agreement yourselves. People often think that the judge or magistrates will run the hearing, ask the questions and unpick the evidence to get at the truth. They will help where they can (particularly if they think that you are struggling) but if it is your application, generally you have to be prepared to take the lead.

Courts vary in how they start a final hearing. The judge or magistrates may invite you to speak, or not. They may just expect you to start. If you are not sure what to do, just stand up and say something like, ‘Would you like me to start now?’ If you don’t know their name, it is best to call a man ‘Sir’ and a woman ‘Madam’. If there is just one judge hearing your case, you can call them ‘Judge’. 

In the room where the hearing takes place you sit in the front row. You usually stand up when you want to speak and sit down when someone else speaks. Sometimes hearings take place in rooms rather than in courts and you may not need to stand up when speaking. If in doubt about where you should sit, and whether to stand or sit when speaking, just ask the court.

You and the respondent will each have a chance to tell your story (the law calls this ‘giving evidence’). You will have to make a formal promise to the court to tell the truth (the law calls this ‘take an oath’ or ‘affirm’). The applicant goes first and the respondent second. If the respondent is represented by a lawyer, then the lawyer will get them to tell their story by asking them questions. When they finish telling their story, you will usually get the chance to ask them questions. If the court thinks that your ex is a victim of abuse you might not be allowed to ask questions yourself. The court may ask you to write down your questions or find some other way of putting them to your ex. In any event the court will probably help by asking questions where necessary. When you ask questions, make sure they are questions and not speeches.

When you finish telling your story, the judge or magistrates (or the respondent’s lawyer if they have one) can ask you questions. When someone asks you a question listen to it carefully and answer the question you are being asked. If you don’t understand the question, say so and ask for it to be put in a different way.

If Cafcass or CAFCASS Cymru has prepared a report, the author of the report usually attends court for the final hearing. This will give you, the respondent and the court an opportunity to ask them questions about what the report says and the recommendations.

The court decides whether to make a parental responsibility order and explains the reasons for the decision. Sometimes this will not happen on the same day as the full hearing because the court needs more time to think about your case. In this situation you will be asked to come back to court another day. You won’t have to wait too long, maybe another few weeks.

If your hearing has to take place remotely, via video or phone call it will obviously be quite different as you won’t all be present in the same space together. This can mean the hearing takes a bit longer. The order in which things happen will be the same as if you are all in a court building. If you have this kind of hearing it is really important to prepare just as much as you would if it was in a court building. If you know your hearing is going to take place via video or phone call take a look at Court and tribunal hearings by video or phone call. This is full of tips on how to prepare.

What does the court take into account when making a decision?

The law explains what the court needs to take into account when making a decision about whether to grant a parental responsibility order. The court will consider the child’s welfare above all else. You may hear lawyers call this the ‘paramount consideration’ test. This is about trying to decide, sometimes in difficult circumstances, what is in the child’s best interests.

The law says that the court must assume that a child’s welfare will improved by having a parent involved in their life, unless there is evidence to suggest that parent might cause the child harm.

In practice the court will think about things like:

• the degree of commitment you have shown towards the child,
• how close you and the child are, and
• your reasons for applying for a parental responsibility order. For example, the court might be worried if it thinks you will use your parental responsibility to try to micromanage the time the child is with the other parent, because this might upset the child’s care rather than be good for the child.

If you are the child’s biological dad and can show commitment, a close relationship and proper reasons for applying, the court will usually grant you parental responsibility. If you are the child’s mum, you need to consider carefully whether to object to parental responsibility if the dad can show those three things.

Sometimes the court may be concerned that the parent who is asking for parental responsibility might use it to interfere with the day-to-day life of the child and control the parent who the child lives with most of the time. In that situation, the court can make the parental responsibility order but make other orders as well, to prevent the parent from doing things that would cause disruption. 

Have a look at our step by step description of how Rob applies for a parental responsibility order. It is designed to give you an overall picture of what is involved in a typical application for a parental responsibility order. Even though your case may be different, we hope it makes the process seem a bit less daunting.

You will come across lots of new technical words. This is the jargon that lawyers and court staff use. We think there’s no getting around it - you have to understand what it means too. You can find them explained in What does it mean?

The story so far...Rob and Beth have 2 children, one is 7 years old and the other is 5 years old. Rob and Beth no longer live together and never married. Rob’s name is not on the children’s birth certificates. The children live with Beth and see their Dad regularly. Rob asked Beth to make a parental responsibility agreement but she refused.

This is a step by step description of how Rob applies for a parental responsibility order.

Start

Finish

How to find a family mediator

Anyone can call themselves a family mediator, so it is important to choose someone you can be sure is well trained and experienced.

A good way to find a registered mediator is to use the search tool provided by the Family Mediation Council to find one near you.

All Family Mediation Council registered mediators must follow a code of practice to maintain good standards in their work. If you are interested, you can find the code of practice on the Family Mediation Council website.

If you follow up on a recommendation from family or friends, be sure to just check the name on the Family Mediation Council website so you know that the person is registered and either working towards being an accredited mediator or is accredited. This will give you reassurance that the mediator you choose is trained and experienced.

All the mediators included on the Family Medication Council website have been trained by providers approved by the Family Mediation Council and most are also accredited, which means that they are experienced mediators. Not all mediators do Legal Aid funded mediation, but those who do must be accredited – you can search for them by ticking the middle box on the search tool.

Mediators are trained to give legal information but not legal advice. Some people feel safer with a mediator who is also a qualified solicitor as they have experience of the family court system. If you want a mediator who is also a solicitor, use the search on the family mediation council’s website and check what it says on the mediator’s website about their background. Or the search on Resolution’s site, explains in the results how long the mediator has been a family law solicitor.  Some mediators have backgrounds in other very useful professions that could be particularly helpful to you depending on your situation, such as financial advisers or family therapists.

Don’t be afraid to phone around and compare prices. You need to ask:

• How experienced is the mediator? Is the mediator accredited? (If the mediator is working towards accreditation, they will be less experienced but supervised and supported, and cheaper).
• How many mediations do they do each year? (Try to choose an experienced mediator who does many sessions each year).
• How much will each mediation session cost each of you and do they offer mediation vouchers?
• If there are any other additional fees (for example, is there a separate cost for writing up the agreement at the end)?
• How busy they are – are they likely to be able to see you at a time that both you and your ex can do?

How to find legal advice

Resolution is a membership organisation for family lawyers and other professionals committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes. You can find good family law solicitors and mediators near you on their website. A green tick next to the lawyer’s name tells you that they offer legal aid.

You can also search for a specialist lawyer near you who has been accredited by the Law Society. This means they have a significant amount of experience and expertise and have passed a Law Society assessment - go to Find a solicitor.

You can also try and find a family lawyer who offers legal aid via Find a legal adviser or family mediator on GOV.UK. 

Another way to get legal advice is to speak to a barrister who is qualified to represent members of the public directly (without a solicitor being involved). There are limits on what a barrister can do outside of representation at court but it is often a cheaper option if you just want to get some advice rather than have a solicitor to negotiate on your behalf. The details of appropriately qualified barristers and an explanation of the way the system works can be found by going to Direct Access Portal. Don’t be afraid to phone around to compare prices or see if you can find someone who will give you the first appointment for free.

The Royal Courts of Justice Advice Bureau may be able to help you if you:

• live in England or Wales,
• have a case in the Family Court, High Court or Court of Appeal, and
• are not already represented by a solicitor or barrister.

To book an appointment please check their website Royal Courts of Justice Advice Bureau for latest appointment details.

Coram Children’s Legal Centre offers a Child Law Advice Service where you can get free and confidential advice on specific questions you may have on family law and education law if you do not have legal representation.

The demand for the advice line is high, so they are only able to answer a limited number of calls. Therefore, make sure you read through the information on their website and only contact the support line with specific questions on the information provided. You can only get advice if you are a resident of England.

The best way to see what they offer and when is to go to their Contact us page. 

Help at court or at video or phone hearing

The charity Support Through Court supports people going through the court process without a lawyer. Volunteers offer a free and confidential service at some court buildings. You can look at their website to see if they have an office at your local court. The volunteers aim to help you manage your own case yourself. They cannot give legal advice or act on your behalf, but can offer practical help such as going to your hearing with you and supporting you with your forms.

They can also help you if your hearing is by video or phone, by talking you through the process and sometimes joining the hearing too. They run a free national helpline 03000 810 006, open Monday to Friday 10.30am - 3.30pm. This is a good place to start for information on what they can do to help you.

Child contact centres

Child contact centres are neutral places where children of separated families can spend time with the parent they don’t live with day to day and sometimes other family members, in a comfortable and safe environment. For more information, see National Association of Child Contact Centres.

Domestic violence and abuse

Always dial 999 in an emergency. If you cannot speak when you call, you may be asked to cough or tap on the phone or enter the numbers 55. The operator will then know you are there and in danger and transfer you to the police.

For support or to discuss your options you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or in Wales, Live Fear Free on 0808 80 10 800. These lines are open 24/7.

Both help lines are for anyone who is experiencing, or has experienced domestic abuse, or for anyone who is worried about domestic abuse happening to a friend, family member or colleague. It is free, confidential and the number will not show up on a BT telephone bill.

If you are a man affected by domestic abuse, or you are worried about someone you know who is suffering abuse, you can contact Men’s Advice Line who offer confidential advice, support and information - 0808 8010327 Mon–Fri 10am-5pm.

The National Centre for Domestic Violence provides a free, emergency injunction service to survivors of domestic abuse regardless of their financial circumstances, race, gender or sexual orientation. You can contact them on: 0800 970 2070. Alternatively you can text: NCDV to 60777 and they will call you back.

Galop runs a national helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people experiencing domestic abuse. You can contact them on 0800 999 5428.

You can find more information and support from:

• Refuge
• Women’s Aid
• Welsh Women’s Aid
• Surviving Economic Abuse

If you are worried about your own behaviour towards your current or ex-partner, or are you concerned for someone you know who is being abusive, help is available to stop this at Respect Phoneline with non-judgmental advice and access to behaviour change programmes. Call 0808 8024040, Monday–Friday 10am-5pm.

Further information about your rights and places to get support

Gingerbread provides expert advice, practical support and other help for single parents. They have lots of useful information on their website, so they ask that you look at that first before calling the helpline. Single Parent Helpline: 0808 802 0925

OnlyMums and OnlyDads run a Family Separation Support Hub with information, articles, details of parenting courses and access to a directory of a range of professionals who can help with separation issues.

Family lives is a national charity providing help and support in all aspects of family life. Their helpline can give information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life. Family Helpline: 0808 800 2222 Monday to Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday and Sunday 10am - 3pm.

MATCH - mothers apart from their children is a charity that offers non-judgmental support and information to mothers apart from their children in a wide variety of circumstances. E-mail: enquiries@matchmothers.org. Helpline: 0800 689 4104 9am- 1pm and 7pm-9.30pm, Monday - Friday.

Acknowledgement form (Form C7)

The form a person replying to an application (known as the 'respondent') uses to tell the court that they have received the application and whether or not they object to it.

Allegation 

A claim that someone has done something wrong.

Applicant 

The name given to someone who applies to a court for a court order.

Application 

How you ask a court to do something.

Form C1 

The application form that starts the process of asking for a parental responsibility order.

Cafcass 

The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. Cafcass operates in England.

Cafcass officers (sometimes also called family court advisors) – are specialist social workers whose job is to help parents reach an agreement (where possible) and write reports for the court about the needs of children.

CAFCASS Cymru 

The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service Cyrmru. CAFCASS Cymru operates in Wales.

Cafcass officers (sometimes also called family court advisors or in Wales, Welsh Family Proceedings Officers) – are specialist social workers whose job is to help parents reach an agreement (where possible) and write reports for the court about the needs of children.

Civil partners 

Same or opposite sex couples who have entered into a civil partnership.

Cohabitees

Opposite and same sex couples who live together and are neither married, nor civil partners.

Confidential contact details Form C8 

The form you fill in if you don’t want to reveal your contact details (your address, telephone number, email address) or the contact details of your child or children. Form C8 is just for the court – so they know where you are and how to get hold of you. The information you give on it will be kept secret unless the court orders differently.

Court order

An official decision by a court. In certain circumstances, courts can impose penalties if court orders are disobeyed.

Directions 

Instructions from the court about how a case will be dealt with.

Dispute Resolution Appointment (DRA) 

This hearing gives you another opportunity to see if you can sort out your disagreement with the help of the court, if you haven’t managed to reach an agreement at the first hearing.

EX160 Help with fees form 

The form you use to apply for help paying a court fee.

File 

Take or send legal forms or documents to a court.

First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA) 

The court hearing which takes place at the beginning of the court’s involvement in your case.

FM1 

The form that confirms you have attended a Mediation and Information Assessment Meeting or that you don't have to do this.

FM5 form 

The form that everyone involved in a case about children need to fill in to tell the court about what efforts you have made to reach an agreement out of court.

Hearing 

The name given to a meeting with a judge or magistrates.

Issue 

Officially start court proceedings.

Litigant in person (LiP)

This is what the law calls you if you represent yourself in court proceedings without the help of a solicitor or barrister.

Non-court dispute resolution 

The name given by family lawyers to different ways of reaching an agreement out of court. The main methods that the court recognises are mediation, the collaborative law approach, neutral evaluation, and arbitration. 

Notice 

A notice is a bit like a letter. They are the way courts tell you what is going on and what you need to do next.

Notice of proceedings 

This tells you that a court case has started and when and where your first court hearing will take place.

Order for directions 

This is a list of instructions telling you what to do and when.

Parental responsibility 

All the rights and duties that go with being a parent.

Parental responsibility order 

A court order that gives someone the legal rights and responsibilities of a parent.

Party 

A person or group of people on one side in a dispute.

Proceedings 

Court action taken to settle a dispute.

Respondent 

The person or people you have to give a copy of your application for a court order. A respondent can then reply or 'respond' to your application.

Serve 

Delivery of court documents, usually by post. In some circumstances, the courts allow delivery by email.

Statement 

Written summary of the background to the disagreement, any recent events that have caused the court application and your view about what should happen in the future.

Statement of Service form (C9) 

The form you use to tell the court when you sent your application to the respondent(s).

Disclaimer

The information in this guide applies to England and Wales only. The law may be different if you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland. The law is complicated. We have simplified things in this guide. Please don’t rely on this guide as a complete statement of the law. We recommend you try and get advice from the sources we have suggested.

The cases we refer to are not always real but show a typical situation. We have included them to help you think about how to deal with your own situation.

Acknowledgements

This guide was written and produced by Advicenow and updated thanks to funding from the Ministry of Justice via the Online Support and Advice grant. 

Advicenow would like to thank all those who provided advice and feedback on this guide, and in particular Polly Morgan, Professor of Law, University of East Anglia.